The actual London Five-Oh

Don Ho of Hawaii Five-Oh, eat your heart out. This is what BlogMom did for her big London Five-Oh.

The day started dreamily with Hubster getting up to "supervise" Teen's morning rituals, leaving me to laze in bed. At one point he came in and asked if I ever thought I'd be living in London on my 50th birthday. I said "YES"!!! I guess he forgot he was married to a semi-professional intutive.

Enjoyed a leisurely breakfast, and received the first congratulatory phone call of the day from New York Sister. I told you she would not let me forget the magnitude of the occasion. She was calling at what was her 5 am!

I had planned to take a long walk on Hampstead Heath (my favorite haunt from my year here in 1978) but the weather did not cooperate. The forecast was calling for heavy rain, and although I NEVER leave home without my umbrella, I knew better than to slog through Hill and Heath and Wood in that kind of weather. I turned to Plan B: Taking the bus up Abbey Road to The End of the Line.

I know what you're thinking--"whoa, she's really living large over there! All the way to the End of the Line! Whatever could she be thinking?" Well, I happen to know that the End of the Line is the Brent Cross shopping mall. I also wanted to see what was at the upper end of Abbey Road, as I hadn't been more than 1/2 mile up, and that was on foot.

So I took the clankety old brass-gated "lift" down to the lobby and went to the bus shelter right near the famous pedestrian crossing. Pretty soon the 189 chugged into sight and I whipped out my Oyster Card. This is the plastic card with stored value that one needs to ride the buses and underground trains in London. I went up to the upper deck of the double-decker red bus and snagged the prime seat right in the front.

The 189 goes straight up Abbey Road until the boundary of St. John's Wood and South Hampstead. Shortly thereafter, it makes a left turn (heading West), leaving the rustle of leafy suburban atmosphere behind for the bustle of Kilburn High Road and the downright hustle of Cricklewood Broadway. Just before the turn a sign advised that there were "Humps for 340 Yards" (insert snicker here). I saw stores with unusual names juxtaposed with shops with even more unusual names.

Our Oliver Road neighbors Leslie and Tom, plus their TeenY will be thrilled to hear of a shop called ShaSha.com. (see photo) That is their name, only spelled differently. It appears to carry really inexpensive clothes for teens. We will have to go there when they come to visit.

A grocery store is called "Iceland.co.uk" and sells "food you can trust". It's a good thing, I wouldn't want any untrustworthy food in my fridge!
A store called "Bathrooms 4 You" has above it a store called "Good 4 You", which sells discounted toys, household goods, and cosmetics. Across the street, The African Food Centre sells fresh vegetables and African magazines and vegetables. B & Q Warehouse has orange lettering and must be a cousin of Home Depot. The housing that is supported with public funds is euphemistically called a "council estate", while the people who pay for their own housing live in buildings called "courts", "lodges", and "gardens".

The bus chugged on. We passed a little park marked "Millenium Breathing Space". I'm not sure if that was somebody's idea of a joke, or the real name of a very weedy spot. The signs did look somewhat official. Just as we passed the Hendon Football Club, an announcement came over the bus's public address system saying that "This bus is being held here for a few minutes in order to help regulate the service." In other words, we had been early! We were making too good time. We needed to delay ourselves to get back on schedule. We paused next to a large green hilly field. Off in the distance, evenly spaced about 50 feet apart from each other, grazed a flock of ....crows. This is not a typo. About three dozen big black ravens were in the field, all walking in the same direction, taking a few steps, then pecking the ground, and moving to a new spot. They were grazing just like cows! I know some birds can be good mimics, but these crows think they are cows!

After pausing for three minutes, our journey bus northward resumed as we crossed a "Humped Zebra Crossing". Perhaps this refers to a striped dromedary? If not, it must mean a raised pedestrian crossing.

Pretty soon the Brent Cross Shopping Centre hove into view. On one side of the highway that we crossed, there was a Borders bookstore, and a T K Maxx (also NOT a typo). The bus terminus was at a mall containing hundreds of stores, including Marks & Spencer, H & M, John Lewis, and (gasp) Claire's accessories, the staple of every US mall, selling cheapy costume jewelry and hair accessories to bored teens.

I spent a good hour poking around the home goods section of John Lewis, looking casually at all their rolls of upholstery fabric, and more seriously at their duvet (down quilt) covers. The flat came fully furnished with double-sized sheets and duvet, but no cover. I was challenged to find one that would co-ordinate with the rust red curtains also provided, without going wacko-wild with eye-popping oranges, reds and purples, as well as without breaking the bank. See photo to decide for yourself if the results are modern yet tasteful, trendy yet retro.

During the hour I was in the mall it must have poured torrents of rain. When I returned outside there were soggy masses of potential bus passengers spilling out from under the bus shelters. There were at least ten different alighting points, each with a letter, and I had to visit six of them before I found the appropriate bus stop for the 189 southbound.

The return trip provided me with even more delightful shop-name juxtapositions. There was the Bosnia and Herzegovena Community Centre & Charity Bookshop, right near the Chinese Medicine Centre of London. Across the street a sign advertised "Polski Sklep", near the King's Head (Dive Bar and Music Joint), not to be confused with the Soho Beach House Bar & Chill Out Club. The aptly-named Blanks Music Store was empty and the anti-theft grills were down and locked. Bellview Airlines advertised discount flights. I do not know to what destinations they fly, I just hope it's not Bell(e)view Hospital (sorry, a joke only NYers will get). Nayong Pilipino was near both a Kebab House AND Sam's Chicken (great tasting, great price!) Rose's Bistro Cafe had as her neighbors Speedy Noodle and Ahmad Zai's "Superstore", whose storefront was all of 12 feet wide.

Buka , (name of a former boss), a business of an indeterminate nature, was near Fase 2 bar and Restaurant AND the Citizens's Advice Bureau. Do they give advice on avoiding Buka's? Subway and KFC (complete with Colonel Sanders and his goatee, an advertising icon no longer used in the US) were juxtaposed with Spicy Basil--Authentic Thai food. Close by was Oakham, Your Local Money Store. No Cash, No Credit, No Problem. We will loan you money at an exhorbitant rate of interest so you can spend it on bad fast food.
We finally turned off Kilburn High Road and passed Sha-Sha.com, the signal that we were once again entering our own neighborhood.

I returned to the flat around 14:00 and was greeted by Hubster, who asked me if I had gotten caught in the rain. It turned out his trip to the St. John's Wood library was marred by precipitation. I do not think that he has learned the rule about never going out without your brolly.

Another B-day call came in shortly thereafter. It was a friend from my University College London days, someone with whom I had hung out in the Drama Society there in 1978. Hubster and I visited with him and his wife-to-be while we were on our honeymoon here in 1986. We've gotten together with them and their kids a few times since then when we've been in London. I was touched to have received a card from them and even more surprised by the telephone call.

TeenE came home from school about 15:15.
The birthday festivities got underway when I received my much-anticipated gift, a trendy rolling grocery cart. No old-lady type for this 50-and-up. I'll be stylin' on the High Street with my collapsible black-and-pink swirly-mod design waterproof shopping trolley. Yowza!

Around 16:00, the three of us then went to the Abbey Cafe for "tea". Cappucinos, tea, tuna melts, and a piece of celebratory pecan pie were thoroughly enjoyed.

We repaired back to the flat, but not before I had a pleasant interlude sitting in the little park nearby. It was the hour at which all the little tykes begin to melt down and their mummies or nannies take them home for "tea" (which is a light evening meal).

The approaching low pressure system then worked its usual magic, triggering a mild migraine. I took a pill and went to bed early, listening to the sound of the heavy rain on the leaves of the London Plane Tree outside our bedroom window.

Historical Note: If you look at the photo on the cover of the Beatles' Abbey Road album, on the left side of the road there is a white Volkswagen bug/beetle. Down past that there is a group of trees, and past that there is a red mail/post box. The big tree out our window can clearly be seen in this photo!